tumblr counter
0:)

theyellowbrickroad:

It’s such a good thing I’m not a mom the world isn’t ready yet for me to post Facebook statuses every five minutes that are like “little gulp scraped her knee :/ why is my child so incompetent and boring”

why did you name your child little gulp. are you a 7/11?

tsarbucks:

tsarbucks:

I can’t stand airplanes that carry alcohol

they always lift my spirits up and then bring them right back down

heckacute:

The Ten Most Important Literary Works In Human History

  1. Shakespeare’s Hamlet
  2. Joyce’s Ulysses 
  3. Shelley’s Frankenstein
  4. Homer’s Odyssey
  5. Austin’s Pride And Prejudice
  6. God’s The Holy Bible
  7. Cervantes’ Don Quixote
  8. An article I saw online a few months ago that was called something like “The Twenty Best Side Boob Pics You’ll Ever See”
  9. Dostoyevsky’s Crime And Punishment 
  10. Woolf’s To The Lighthouse 
psyducker:

Who is she?

psyducker:

Who is she?

injuryrisks:

Look what I found

injuryrisks:

Look what I found

sexadvicegoddess:

sarcasticlittlefuckk:

standard

I am crying I love this too much

clientsfromhell:

Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

Me: What black pen?

Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.

gorillamunchies:

i’m shithead and i walk like this

i’m shithead and dance like this

Why do you want to be a comedian?
Anonymous

bewbin:

the free stool with a glass of water on it 

0 to 100

imreallycoolandfriendly:

Pretty Quickly.

Real freaking quick

sexaulity:

spicegorl:

j5h:

intelligence is such a turn on

so is a huge co*ck

why did you put an asterisk you still spelt the whole word

weloveshortvideos:

When you hit the blunt before you go on the air…